Is marriage A Journey Through the Grassy Field?

 

Picture your marriage as a vast, open grassy field. On the day you enter this field, full of hope and joy, you see a breathtaking panorama stretching out before you—rolling hills, vibrant flowers, lush grass, sturdy trees, and a clear blue sky under the warm caress of a gentle breeze. This idyllic vision represents the relationship you envision with your partner, a lifelong journey through a beautiful landscape. On your wedding day, you look at each other and think, “I want to walk through this beautiful field with you forever.”

As you take your first steps into this field together, everything seems perfect. The grass is green, the flowers bloom brightly, the hills and trees promise adventure and comfort, the sunshine is warm, and the breeze is cool. You believe this is how it will always be. But soon, reality sets in. You encounter unexpected obstacles—cow pies, so to speak—scattered across the field. In some seasons, they seem to be everywhere. You begin to wonder, "Where did all this manure come from?"

These cow pies represent the flaws, sins, idiosyncrasies, weaknesses, and annoying habits in your spouse. In the early days, they might seem small and insignificant, but over time, they can appear to dominate the landscape. They become especially prevalent late at night when you are both sleep-deprived, and tempers are short. The smell of these metaphorical cow pies can feel overwhelming, making you question the beauty of the field you once saw so clearly.

The challenge lies in how you respond to these cow pies. It's easy to get caught up in them, to let them dominate your thoughts and interactions. You might start to feel like there's no green grass anywhere, only manure. This perception, however, is not the truth. It's merely the result of focusing too much on the negatives and not enough on the positives.

The key to managing these challenges is a combination of forbearance and forgiveness. When you both acknowledge the presence of these cow pies, you begin to create a compost pile. This compost pile is a designated place where you metaphorically shovel all the cow pies. You build a fence around it to contain them, acknowledging that while they are a part of your relationship, they do not define it.

As you shovel the cow pies into the compost pile, you look at each other and admit, “We bring a lot of cow pies to this relationship.” This mutual acknowledgment is crucial. By recognizing that you both contribute to the compost pile, you begin to take responsibility for your actions and their impact on the relationship. This process helps you shift your focus away from the negatives and towards the positives.

Once the cow pies are in the compost pile, you make a conscious decision to walk away from it. You set your eyes on the rest of the field—the parts that are still beautiful and untouched by manure. You choose to focus on your favorite paths and hills, the areas of your relationship that bring you joy and contentment. These might be small at first, but they are sweet and precious.

This process requires effort and commitment. Your hands might get dirty, and your backs may ache from all the shoveling, but you make a vow to each other: “We will not pitch our tent by the compost pile.” You resolve to go there only when necessary, to deal with the cow pies when you must, but you will not live there. You won’t retreat to the compost pile to lick your wounds or dwell on the negatives. Instead, you will give each other the gift of grace, again and again, choosing to focus on the green grass, the flowers, and the hills.

This gift of grace is a conscious decision, made daily, to forgive and forbear. It’s a decision to look past the manure and see the beauty in your partner and your relationship. It’s a decision to walk through the field hand in hand, enjoying the sunshine and the breeze, despite the occasional cow pie. This grace is what sustains the marriage, keeping it strong and vibrant even when the going gets tough.

The journey through the grassy field of marriage is not always easy. There will be times when the cow pies seem overwhelming, when you wonder if there’s any green grass left. But if you commit to shoveling those cow pies into the compost pile and walking away from them, you will find that the beauty of the field is still there. It’s in the laughter you share, the quiet moments of understanding, the adventures you embark on together, and the love that grows deeper with each passing day.

In this field, there are always new paths to explore, new flowers to discover, and new hills to climb. The sunshine and the breeze are constant reminders of the joy and peace that can be found in your relationship. By focusing on these positives and managing the negatives with grace and forgiveness, you create a marriage that is resilient, fulfilling, and full of hope.

So, as you walk through the field of marriage, remember that the cow pies are just a small part of the landscape. They do not define the field. Instead, focus on the green grass, the flowers, the trees, the hills, and the sunshine. Treasure the moments of joy and work together to navigate the challenges. By doing so, you will find that the field is indeed a beautiful place, a place where you can walk hand in hand for all your days.

This is the journey of marriage—a journey of hope, joy, grace, and love. It’s a journey worth taking, a field worth exploring, and a relationship worth nurturing. With each step, you reaffirm your commitment to each other, to walk through the field together, come what may. This is the promise you made on your wedding day, and it is the promise that will carry you through all the seasons of your marriage.