THE FOUR HABITS THAT WILL HELP YOU TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP.

Have you ever stopped to think why only very few people have amazing relationships? Did they just get lucky? Are they the chosen ones? Perhaps.

But seriously, most of us would agree, wouldn’t we, that great relationships take work? The problem is, more often than not, we have no idea what to work on. Over years , it was observed that all successful relationships exhibit four simple yet fundamental habits, which will be shared with you in this text.

The great news is that these are habits that we can all learn and develop, and when we do, we significantly increase our chances of having one of those amazing relationships.

Relationship breakdown is a huge problem. To solve a problem of this scale, borrowing a phrase from medical science, we need better fences at the top of the cliffs rather than more ambulances at the bottom.

In the context of relationships, these four habits are strong fences. All relationships face hurdles triggered by life events: setting up a house, having a baby, or taking a demanding job.

These hurdles manifest as unmet expectations, poor conflict resolution, trust and respect issues, and poor communication. Outside of abusive relationships, success comes from being equipped to get over these hurdles smoothly

. Mastering these four habits helps you get over the hurdles. It's not about being perfect but being intentional in developing the habits.

So, shall we share the habits? Absolutely. The first habit, "Be curious, not critical," helps you get over the hurdle of frustration from unmet expectations.

Habit number one, "Be curious, not critical," is about investing time to understand how we are wired differently so we can learn to play to our strengths rather than waste energy criticizing differences.

Given these differences, habit number two, "Be careful, not crushing," helps us get over the hurdle of poor conflict resolution styles. Our natural fight-or-flight responses are very self-centered.

We need to reprogram these automatic responses by developing skills and habits that allow us to care for each other during conflicts and work towards genuine resolutions.

We set ground rules to control our behavior in conflict situations: never hit each other, never walk out in anger, and never threaten divorce just to be spiteful.

Disappointments and frustrations are inevitable, but habit two helps us learn how to argue well, treat each other with care, and come out stronger together.

Habit number three, "Ask, don’t assume," helps overcome the hurdle of mistrust and disrespect that can creep into relationships.

Habit number three is about getting good at having courageous conversations, asking and discussing rather than assuming and stereotyping.

Finally, habit number four, "Connect before you correct," is about learning how to communicate real value and appreciation before giving constructive feedback.

When you live and work with someone daily, it’s easy to take them for granted. People go where they feel welcomed but stay where they feel valued. We need to be deliberate about finding specific ways to build warmth in the relationship.

For us, this sometimes means breaking routine—disappearing in the middle of the workday for a movie after intense workshop delivery. Habit number four is about connecting more than correcting, ensuring that the relationship remains vibrant and not just functional.

These four habits can literally save lives. A chance conversation and a bit of information had prevented a potential tragedy. Relationship breakdown can literally kill us. With the growing concern over mental health, why is relationship equipping still left to chance?

We invest in things we value—our education, homes, pensions—so why not our relationships? Imagine a world where everyone practices these habits of being more curious than critical, more careful than crushing, asking rather than assuming, and connecting more than correcting.

When we develop and practice these habits, we not only increase our chances of relationship survival but begin to thrive as individuals, families, companies, and nations.

If each of us takes responsibility for developing these habits in our own relationships, together, maybe, just maybe, we’ll leave the world a better place for the generations to come.